


Shut Your Mouth

by HighCaptain



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-10-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26633014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HighCaptain/pseuds/HighCaptain
Summary: Damian's never had the best track record of being...cordial. Especially when he's angry.Marinette hates her impulsive improvisation sometimes.(Daminette two-parter, also known as, "Robin, clench your goddamned teeth!")
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug & Damian Wayne, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Damian Wayne
Comments: 80
Kudos: 584





	1. Look Up

**Author's Note:**

> How do I tag so that I show up on tumblr?

Robin irately observed the spotted hero sitting on top of the stairs leading to the second floor. She seemed to like high places, he noted to himself. She was currently using her yoyo’s compact form, tapping and scrolling through something.

The hero in question had been Ladybug, Scarlet Luck of the city of Paris. She’d come all the way from the JLE headquarters to the JLA groundsite to receive tutelage under Batman and Red Robin themselves. That meant she wasn’t hopeless at least, but he didn’t see that as an accomplishment.

However, he could admit that she was a competent hero and good at what she did. He wouldn’t tolerate a daytime hero otherwise. She was good at improvisation and quick-witted, well organized and well spoken. She was decisive and leveraged herself as a pillar of strength and support for the citizens of Paris, her team included.

In that way, Robin and Ladybug had quietly bonded, being leaders of their own team and often sitting in silence together as they worked on their own tasks. It was neither amicable nor awkward, at least now and for the time being, merely productive.

And regardless of what Grayson said, he did not like her. At all. In fact, there were a number of things he detested in regards to her character.

First, there was her lack of confidence. While her image as the certain and sure-footed Ladybug was maintained by the lack of media coverage and professional conduct, she was more unsure of herself than not despite her blatant skills, effectively crippling her investigation into Hawkmoth’s identity, the most crucial aspect of her job. The moment someone’s opinion differed from her own she would second guess her decisions, wasting time and brain cells on a different perspective when all she needed were the facts and her own conviction.

Next, was her inane denial. She constantly proclaimed that Chat Noir was her partner, but where she saw an equal, the rest of the world saw ‘sidekick’. Granted, the cat hero could perform well, he wouldn’t still be here if he couldn’t, but he clearly did not contribute as much as he should be. The one left to do all the planning, coming up with strategy after strategy, as well as resuscitating the dead, dying, and brainwashed, was Ladybug. He was a sidekick who needed to stop being coddled so that he could reach his full potential. 

Lastly, was her leadership role. It was solid and her team didn’t question her judgement, he;d give her that, but her team member’s weren’t solid enough to be relied upon. Chat was a one trick pony, more often a hindrance than not, Queen Bee had ultimately ruined any chance of wielding a miraculous again, Ryuko didn’t follow orders, Carapace was overtly prioritizing Rena Rouge over the rest of the team and Rena Rouge was recklessly endangering herself and others by either giving away her position, or clinging so close to the other heroes that she was a direct inconvenience. And don’t even get him started on Viperion. One of Ladybug’s few competent allies and he retires?! For what reason, when he’s only participated in less than ten skirmishes, the lout. She needed to establish more than the ground rules, she needed to make clear expectations.

So, no. He did not like Ladybug. He didn’t hate her either. She did her job, worked with what she had, and left him to his own devices whenever they’d interact.

Except for now. Sort of.

Technically she hadn’t said anything, but every now and then she would glance up from her compact and thoughtfully observe his tight expression.

“Speak up or stop gawking,” he finally snapped. Ladybug’s thoughtful gaze quickly glimmered into something else, but it was gone before he could identify it.

“Trouble in Jump?” Robin didn’t care for being figured out so easily.

“Jump is none of your concern.” 

She tilted her head. “No, but it is your’s. Tell me about it?”

He just glared darkly, and she raised her hands in surrender.

“Okay, I get it. I wasn’t asking to be nosy or anything, you just seem less stoic than usual, like you’re upset or angry, so I wanted to offer an ear,” she waved her hands, a foolish tell she needed to correct.

“Upset? Angry?!” He leaped up to pace around the room, cape swirling being him.

“I’m neither of those paltry emotions, angry and upset can’t begin to communicate sheer fury that boils in me!” His cadence was fast and biting.

“How much more will I have to fight to keep my position as leader of the Titans?! Have I not proven myself time and again to be trustworthy, yet my efforts are only met with scrutiny and skepticism as though I’m still that same child from all those years ago,” he dragged a hand through his hair without dislodging his hood.

“What more do they want from me, what more could I possibly give them to prove myself, how--how do I…” he trailed off from his rant, mutely horrified.

“...Robin?” Ladybug hesitantly called. “Um--?!” He rushed to stand above her on the steps.

“You will speak of this to no one.” He threatened. Her worried expression quickly flipped to that of annoyance.

“Yeah, I gathered,” She scoffed sarcastically and stood on a higher step, looking down at him.

He gritted his teeth. “You want something, so name it.”

“Pardon?”

“You wouldn’t offer something without knowing you’d receive benefits, so let’s just get this--”

“Oh Mon Dieu!” she groaned under her palm. “I’m not blackmailing you, moron. I--”

“Who are you calling moron?!” he growled.

“Just look up, damn it!” she snapped. He brashly tilted his head up.

“What--!” could looking up tell me about this situation, is what he would’ve said, but the world just…

It was as if time slowed to a crawl. Every nerve ending, each skin cell gained a hyper awareness rare outside of combat. 

What…

He could feel hot, gentle puffs of air on his right cheek. Heat was effusing through his body, soft and tender. Ladybug was closer than she’d ever been, close enough to see the detailed fibers of her mask. Ladybug was close because Ladybug was kissing him.

Why was she…? Robin couldn’t think, everything was focused on Ladybug. She pressed down and his head further tilted, accommodating her completely. Her lips were warm, sliding against his silkily, parting to slip her tongue into his mouth. The air got hotter.

Why am I…? Her tongue was slowly and possessively wrapping around his. He still couldn’t think. Then, it was over all too soon.

Ladybug pulled away with a quiet noise and he leaned into her space, eyes belatedly flickering open. When had he closed them?

“...” Robin gazed up, stunned.

“That’s...not why I offered, but I got lost in the moment,” Her blue eyes were steel, unyielding. Unapologetic. Strength left his limbs, the only reason he was still standing was because of sheer pride and willpower.

“...”

“Robin, I offered because it looked like you wanted to shut yourself away. I know what that looks like, from others as well as myself. It’s not a good mindset to be in, and I wouldn’t let you sink to that without at least trying to talk to you.” She bit her lip and he locked onto the motion behind his mask, frozen stiff.

“I...I don’t know what to say and I don’t know how to help, but I do know that I can at least listen to you so you can know that you’re heard. That you’re being understood.” She brought up her compact and input some command and his utility belt beeped.

“I just sent you my contact information. Call me whenever, for whatever.” She clasped her hand on his shoulder as she descended the stairwell.

“I gotta go deal with an akuma. See you soon, yeah?” 

“....”

Just like that, Robin was left alone in the break lounge, halfway up the staircase and gaping up at the ceiling like a complete imbecile. Red, weak-kneed, and utterly stupefied.

What…?


	2. Sit Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been nearly a year since she last saw Robin, so when she sees him she doesn't know what to think. Though it's not like that a new thing with him. 
> 
> Since she, y'know, has a massive crush on him
> 
> ...
> 
> (shit).

Marinette sighed as the shower warmed up, rolling her neck and relishing in the light feeling of accomplishment. Ever since Hawkmoth had been defeated, a mere two days ago, things had been tense. Hawkmoth, now known as Gabriel Agreste, was arrested along with his assistant Nathalie Sancoeur who had since retired as Mayura the year before. It was a stroke of luck to discover that the Guardian had the ability to forcibly renounce a broken Miraculous. Something Gabriel hadn’t known, granting them extra time as he futilely tried to ‘fix’ the brooch. While that happened, she managed to finally convince Chat to at least keep him as a suspect if not out of suspicion, then to actually strike him from their list. It didn’t take long rack up evidence against him, especially after learning from the Bats of Gotham. 

The battle was quiet, in the early hours of the morning, where the city forcibly cut the power to the Agreste mansion, and it only took one Venom for each while they slept defenselessly. It took only a few minutes to find evidence that he was at least working with Hawkmoth, and when they found the miraculous pin and brooch, it was confirmed that he was, indeed, Hawkmoth with Nathalie working as his henchwoman Mayura.

Soon, with what was probably the fastest trial of the century, Gabriel Agreste and Nathalie Sancoeur were declared guilty and sentenced to serve life in prison and an insane asylum respectively. It had only shocked her for a moment that Mayura pleaded guilty and asked to be sent directly to rehab for mental help, by reason of insanity wrought by grief. What did surprise her was that she was the one to take the miraculous and give them to the Agreste couple as an anniversary gift, ultimately setting off a chain of unforeseen consequences.

That was a whole other cake she didn’t want to bake just yet, so she decided to finally just take a moment to breathe for what felt like the first time in five years. 

So it was only normal that her smartwatch chimed on the hook of the shower caddy, a picture of a frowny eagle glaring right at her. She cursed her luck, yeah, no breaks was still her usual routine. It must be really hard for the universe to break out that particular habit.

Then she remembered that she set this particular picture and ringtone for the one person who had never called.

Robin, the vigilante that she might have, kind of, definitely made an enemy of.

Who was also her crush, so that was just. Great.

In her defense, she was a human being, and human beings were capable of amazing feats. It was just that her amazing feats were more amazing bouts of stupidity. Seriously, why did she do it? Just where did her common-sense escape to make her think that was even a remotely good idea because she wanted to go there and  _ never come back. _

She had kissed-- no! She  _ made out  _ with Robin, the most notoriously ill-tempered member of  _ Batman’s team _ . The only reason he didn’t deck her in the face was that, because, well she didn’t know! Was it mercy, a misplaced feeling of pity, perhaps?

No, actually, it was more likely that he was frozen stiff with rage. Marinette couldn’t blame him, heck, she’d be angry too, suddenly getting passionately smooched in the middle of a livid rant. 

She had planned on giving him her contact information for the longest time since they'd come to the understanding that they only wanted to do what was best for everyone, the kind of understanding that only leaders could have. And to maybe get closer to him as much as professionalism allowed. So, it stood to reason that she had to go ahead and ruin that, too. She really couldn’t believe herself sometimes, who randomly kisses someone, hands them their number, and then trots off back to work? Marinette Dupain-Cheng apparently.

In fact, it was about time he called. She had pretty much an entire year to prepare herself for what was sure to be a concise and frigid rejection, maybe even a “Stay for away from, lest I stab everyone in this room and then jump out of a window out of utter disgust”? She might as well get it over with and then move on to be alone for the rest of her life.

She wiped the water out of her eyes and squinted at the text message, before jumping out the shower with a loud curse. She hurriedly dried off and put on her clothes, before heading to the Miracle Box, rereading his message.

**Emergency evac, one person, requesting Pegasus’ portal twenty kilometers horizontally above sea level precisely fifteen minutes after this message. Coordinates attached.**

The message was sent ten minutes ago. How long was she catastrophizing for?!

Max was partying along with the rest of Paris while she took a breather in her art studio. Even with the full fifteen minutes, she wouldn’t be able to find him in time. Shit, would she even be able to transform in time?

She grabbed the glasses from the box and Kaalki appeared in a proud flash. 

“No time, there’s trouble,” she panted. “Ready?”

“Hmph, of course,” Kaalki tossed her head. “Let’s go, shall we?”

“Kaalki, transform me!” She eyed the time, two minutes left. She memorized the coordinates as she searched for a suitable place for him to land, and realized she was going to have to catch him in her storage closet.

_ One minute left _ . She opened the door and cleared space in the center of the room.

_ Thirty-five seconds _ . She stood on an old chair that she moved into the center of the room.

_ Twenty seconds _ and she called, “Voyage!” and threw the portal up towards the ceiling.

_ Zero _ . She braced for impact and caught a body that plummeted through in a free fall.

“Ow,” she closed the portal with a groan, amidst the shattered pieces of what used to be a pretty sturdy chair.

“Don’t complain, it could have been worse.” A deep voice rasped.

Wow, to think she missed him, that asshole.

“Shut up, Robi-- oh my god your arm! Get up, getupgetupgetup!” She hauled him up as gently as possible, annoyance giving way to concern.

Robin was, putting it lightly, a mess. He had lost his mask, his eye was swollen shut and his face was bruised with cuts all over, and he was sticky with blood practically everywhere she looked. It was his arm that she was most concerned about, however. It was set in a splint, but he must have been in a rush because it was set wrong, his thumb facing perpendicularly away from his body.

“I am fine,” he sagged into her, weary. “I just need a place to stay for the night.”

“If you weren’t so grievously injured, I’d throw you out for that,” she remarked. “But guess what? It’s your lucky night monsieur, and I’m a trained field medic.” Robin looked at her, _maskless_ , and she had to dart her eyes away from his maskless face.

“Oh, so Ladybug finally started replacing her subpar lineup? About time, either she benched them or Hawkmoth would kill them at some point. They were woefully incompent.” Yep, this was definitely Robin, no doubt about it with that attitude.

She called off the transformation and was somewhat pleased when he reflexively jerked his head away. She pulled him into a princess carry and made her way back to the bathroom, inwardly delighting at his reaction. She would never let him live this down.

“It’s me, Robin. Ladybug. Pegasus couldn’t make it, so you’ll have to do with me instead of a random stand-in.” She raised her brow, not that he could see it.

“Unless that bothers you, Boy Wonder?”

“...I’m not,” he mumbled.

“Hm?”

“I’m not Robin anymore.”

What.  _ What _ .

“What?”

“I’ve retired, effective as of nine months ago today, Robin’s cape has been hung up for the next generation.”

Relief didn’t come yet. “Oh, so you’ve taken on a new mantle? Or are you finally the next Batman, though it would take some time to fill those shoulders. Literally, I mean that literally, um.” She observed his downcast expression and once again started walking to the bathroom. When had she stopped?

“I’m not taking over anything,” he said sullenly. “I can’t. Not after what I did.”

“Come on, it couldn’t have been so bad,” she opened the door with her heel as she backed them towards the stool by the sink. She set him down carefully, taking full stock of his injuries.

“It was. Batman’s cowl has always represented a strict moral code, one that I’ve always...struggled to adhere to.”

Marinette bit her lip as she kneeled in front of him. He didn’t say anymore, and she couldn’t think of anything to say. She sighed and brought out her medkit from the towel cabinet. She was always like this with him.

With Robin (now not Robin?) she had always drawn a blank. She could read his emotions somewhat well, had a good grasp on his moods, and could have genuinely insightful conversations with him. It was only at crucial moments like this that she struggled. Even with Adrien, she had always known what she wanted to say, but Robin was different. Everything about him screamed “one chance only” and that caused her mind to go blank. It was so unbelievably frustrating that she could scream.

Marinette handed the glasses to Kaalki and nodded towards her purse hanging on the door handle. The kwami zoomed towards it and soon disappeared into it with the miraculous.

“Robin,” she called gently. He didn’t move. “I’ll have to cut your shirt off, okay? I need to see where the blood is coming from.”

“It’s not mine. The blood.” He kept his gaze away as she froze.

“Well, we’ll have to reset that arm,” she tried again. “It’s not...it’s not looking good, to say the least.”

He looked towards his mangled right arm and nodded. 

It took some time to undo the splint and she tried not to think about where he had been for him to only have rotted wood and prison rags on hand. She cut his shirt off at the sleeve and down his middle, pulling it off and exposing a painful canvas of mottled bruises, scrapes, and cuts. She handed him her towel and he stuffed it in his mouth without a word. She gently untied the splint.

“Are you ready?” She gazed at him resolutely. He nodded and braced himself as best he could.

“On my count, one, two--” She re-broke his arm a count early on purpose.

“ _ Arrghh! Ffuk!! _ ” He jerked out of her grip.

“Hold still!” He spat out the towel and glared in response.

“ _ Mizq dhiraei allaeaynat 'aw aidbitha _ !!!” She only understood ‘rip’ and ‘arm’ but she got the gist of his screaming.

“Alright it’s done now, I’m setting it, so stop moving,” She couldn’t help but sigh under his vicious scowl.

“Tsk. Be grateful that I can barely discern your features Ladybug. You’re on my shit list and I don’t feel like kicking your ass today.”

“Wow, thanks for saving me Ladybug, I could have died if it weren’t for you!” Marinette couldn’t help but snark at him.

“... _ tsk! _ ” Yep, that was as good as she was going to get in his condition.

After years of fighting akuma victims, she was able to observe the complex and hidden emotions of her opponents and the civilians that she rescued. And right now, her experience was telling her that Robin had more than his pride ruined. His self-confident, courageous, and taciturn nature seemed to be regressing as he fell back into what was probably a self-defense mechanism. For him to be like this instead of exhausted in his current state told her that he must have been through a lot since she last saw him.

She started to gently clean the blood off and noted the bruises underneath definitely came from an intense melee battle. Most of them were in places that made her cringe just looking at them. At least he doesn’t have any other broken bones or stab wounds. Lucky him.

Robin put an ice pack to his face in the meanwhile and wouldn’t look in her direction.

It was quiet for a while. “So, what should I call you, then?” And she had to open her big fat mouth, didn’t she? Now it was awkward. It was awkward, and he hated her, and she was never speaking again, ever.

“Damian.” Uh oh. That didn’t sound like a moniker.

“Um, nice code name?” She started disinfecting his cuts and scrapes, trying not to panic.

“I no longer require such aliases.” Ok, she would process that later, heal Robin now. Process. Later.

“Ro--, Damian, uh, well,” She sighed. “My offer still stands, you know?”

He made a quiet noise. 

“Last time I saw you, I mean. I had left in a rush,”-- after kissing you senseless-- “but I’m always here to listen if you want to talk about what happened.”

Robin, or Damian now, she still wasn’t used to that, froze. His brows furrowed and he strangely went red in the face, before sighing, slumping against the sink.

“I...the blood’s not mine. It hasn’t been mine for a long time, but it might as well be for how long I’ve carried it. I’m not a good person so much as to blame myself completely, but I do recognize some of the faults as mine. I’d gotten help, and I was making progress, but it wasn’t enough. I started falling back into old habits and I hated it. I tried and I failed, and I kept trying and failing for months and I…” He gained a look of despair, the first real emotion she’s seen on him since he dropped in.

“I couldn’t do it anymore. I just kept disappointing everyone and I  _ hated  _ it so much,” he dug his fingers into his matted hair.

“So, I left. I decided to go on a journey to try and repent, and it was working, at least I thought it did. But, then I had stumbled upon a Shadows base and I…” He peered unseeing at the floor.

“It was like I lost all sense of reason. I lay siege to the entire facility and found my way to the next base. It all turned into an endless cycle, all the way until I reached headquarters and inadvertently met up with high ranking members of the Justice League, teaming up to diminish their power. We were successful, but a candidate for the position of the Demon’s Head activated the self-destruct module. Everyone was scrambling to get out and suddenly my mind felt clearer than it had ever been.” He took a deep breath and Marinette moved closer to offer some comfort. He leaned towards her gratefully.

“The Justice League had already had an escape route, but the Shadows were in disarray for some reason. After I was sure my old comrades were out, I locked all the doors, and dived down to a ceremonial bathing chamber.”

“And that’s where I came in,” she whispered.  _ I think I’m starting to like him more than I should. What is wrong with me?! Who made me this way?! _ She had some complaints in regards to that.

“You saved my life,” he inclined his head in an informal bow. “Thank you, Ladybug.”

“...Marinette.” She croaked suddenly. She was left reeling from his info dump and her intense, romantic feelings. So, why not go for a confession? 

Damian whipped his head up in disbelief.

“My name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Enchanté, Damian.” She smiled at his bewildered state, wiping away a bit of blood under his chin. She opened her mouth to say more but didn’t get the chance.

Damian leaped up, furious. “You fool! I knew you were a space cadet, but I didn’t think your brain drifted beyond the stars! How utterly moronic!”

“Wait, why are you so mad?!” She panicked. She kind of had a spur of the moment idea to kiss him on his split lip, but that was looking less and less likely to happen.

(Damn it.)

“You told me your name!” he shouted.

“Yes, and you told me yours?” She retorted. 

“Have you forgotten Hawkmoth?! Your enemy that can read the minds of the emotionally disturbed should he decide to possess them!” He started to hobble out of the bathroom, still half-treated and mostly in pain.

Oh _.  _

_ Oh! _

“I have to leave, now! If I can stay calm long enough to reach the trains then I’ll be moving too fast for a butterfly to suddenly get me.”

“Uh, Damian?”

“No, it might already be en route to someone else and might even already be on board,” He winced and stumbled on the tassel rug in the hallway.

“Woah, hang on a second Damian,” she grabbed him before he could fall, but he pulled out of her grip.

“We don’t have time for this, I can guarantee that I would be one of the worst akumas you’ve faced in your hero career, nevermind the insider information I hold within my mind.”

“Yes, but listen to me,” Damian moved towards the small sitting area, not listening to her. 

_ Again _ .

“This safe house should be around one hundred kilometers from the city limits, you’re safe for now, but Hawkmoth’s estimated rate of growth was--”

_ That’s it! _

Marinette grabbed his jaw and slammed it closed. She had had enough.

“This isn’t a safe house, we’re in my art studio,” she snapped. She could see the rage begin to build to new heights in his eye.

“No, shut your mouth, and listen!” A vein in his forehead started to pulse, but he didn't move to speak.

_ Good _ .

“Hawkmoth has been defeated as of last week, and the trial was concluded a couple of days ago. Going by what you told me, you've been out the loop for almost a year, so you don’t know that my team and I had closed in on Hawkmoth’s trail some time ago and were able to build a solid case that’ll go through in a court of law,” She carefully let him go.

“So, you’re safe, I’m safe, and Paris is safe too.” She’d already started to calm down in the middle of her explanation and idly noted that she should probably take an anger management class.

And sign up for therapy. Lots of it, preferably.

Damian nodded slowly as he rubbed his jaw and she couldn’t help her wince.

“Sorry, did I handle you too roughly? Come here,” she started to pull him back towards the bathroom. He resisted.

“No, it’s fine, no damage just from that much force,” he tugged his arm away but she quickly moved behind him and began to push him through the bathroom door.

“Well, I’m not done treating you, so get back in there.” He grabbed the door frame and pushed back, and her calm demeanor left as quickly as it came. Was it even truly there to begin with?

“I said,” she picked him up and threw him back on the stool where he grasped for stability.

“Come here.” She leaned in close to his bruised face, and wow, the one eye that she could see was so very, very green. “I’m not done with you, yet.”

“... _ okay _ ,” he whispered. He kept his head down.

It didn’t take long to finish disinfecting the rest of his wounds, and soon she started applying ointment to the worst of his bruises. She had enough, but she was definitely going to be restocking in order to play his nursemaid for the next week or so. She rose to her feet and started packing away her kit.

“I’ll give you some pain meds for the night, I’ll leave you to take care of the injuries under the rest of your clothes. Come find me in the kitchenette. I’ll make something for us, though it won’t be anything fancy.”

“That is fine.” Marinette frowned at the strange husk in his voice. Did someone try to suffocate him? Why hadn’t she noticed until now?

She kneeled beside him and reached around him for the water bottle she had left in there earlier, but noticed him twitch and start to blush. Did he get a fever too?

She observed his red face and clear, but dilated eyes.  _ Merde _ , did she embarrass him from earlier? She knew he had a large ego, but it was his own fault for being stubborn.

“Here, get yourself some water from the sink,” she handed the glittery black bottle to him and hurriedly strode out of the bathroom, calling,

“Holler if you need me!” 

Completely aware of the flustered state she left Damian in. Though not for the reason she thinks, at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha, Marinette and Damian need to have a talk, but I'm not writing it lmao. They can pine about the other, like losers.


	3. bloopers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Little bloopers about the before, the middle, and the after, not necessarily in that order.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm supposed to be writing a special and this is the thanks I get? Ideas for two completely unrelated fics, one finished and one not even written? I hate my brain.

Blooper 1:

**Sometime after he was left alone by Ladybug...**

Robin blinked, shaking himself back to awareness, bewildered.

Just how much time had passed since...

He blushed scarlet. (Just like her suit.)

Robin grit his teeth and made his way downstairs on unsteady legs. His internal clock felt that close to an hour had passed and he tsked, sitting in one of the leather seats of the breakroom.

Reclining back, his thoughts tried in vain to remember what he had been doing, and when he did the rage came back. 

“I still can’t believe that happened,” he grumbled to himself as he remembered his father’s disappointment. Because it was Everything is Damian’s fault This Week, except he didn’t get the memo.

_Like always_ , he groused.

He sighed, tilted his head back, and caught sight of the stairwell. Warmth settled in his chest replacing the cold anger. He surreptitiously glanced around finding no one, he allowed his mind to go back in time.

Ladybug’s kiss had been tender and sweet, filling his entire body with a foreign sense of care that echoed through him even now. And when she pressed against him for insistently it took everything in him to try to kiss back, though that failed.

She had taken the lead completely, practically had him pinned with her tongue down his throat.

_What if she did have him pinned with her tongue down his throat?_

His face heated up in full force as he thought deeply, fantasizing.

_Ladybug pulled back with a quiet noise, her gaze was unyielding and unapologetic._

_“That’s...not why I offered, but I got lost in the moment,” Blue eyes like steel. His legs went weak._

_“But it seems like you’re into this sort of thing.” She grabbed him by the scruff of his hood and slowly maneuvered him against the wall. She was gentle as her eyes pierced into his with dark promise._

_“What do you think you’re doing?” he demanded. Ladybug smiled, calm._

_“I think I’m about to wreck an egoistic vigilante, what do you think_ you’re _doing is what you want to ask, hm? Birdy,” Robin gulped as he tried to respond._

_“Oh, do you not want to?” She leaned close in a mockery of concern._

_“I...I, uh,”_

_“It’s okay,” her gloved hand carded through his hair. “Take your time, I’m not gonna rush you.”_

_“I…” His heart was going crazy. He wanted her to do something, but he didn’t have the guts to say it._

_A sigh. “Aw, Birdy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pressure you, I’ll leave and we can forget this ever happened.”_

No!

_“I want!” he rasped in a hurry. “Want it so bad, Ladybug, I--” Lips slammed into his own as deft hands pressed his shoulders into the wall._

_She briefly pulled away, leaving him gasping for air. “Don’t worry, Robin. I’m going to give you exactly what you want and more,”_

_He whimpered, hot and pulsing with blood._

_“Robin,” she pushed closer. “I need you to do something for me, can you be a good boy and do it real quick, please?”_

_“Yes, anything,” he panted. “I’ll be so good, so, so good,”_

_Ladybug giggled. “Then,” she yanked his head back by his hair with a vicious smirk._

_“Open your mouth.”_

_Robin let his jaw go slack, shivering in anticipation--_

A shrill chime reached his ears. It was his communicator. He flicked it open, and there was a message from Agent A, relaying a request to return home for a briefing of a drug bust tomorrow, all hands on deck. Great, just what he needed. He sent his ETA and stood to leave, but froze, halfway out the chair.

_No_ , he thought, panicking. _No, no, no. Absolutely not!_

A glance down swiftly confirmed his denial.

He had an erection. From thinking about being pushed around. By Ladybug, of all people.

He flopped back into his seat with a groan, head in his hands. His blush had spread all the way to his ears and chest while the gentle warmth from earlier had formed into something that was mildly uncomfortable in his layers of clothes.

“Fuck it,” he rose up to storm towards the exit, refusing to walk bowlegged as his dick rubbed against the jockstrap of his suit.

“Fuck this entire day to hell!”

* * *

Blooper 2:

**Two weeks after Damian’s freeloading begins...**

Marinette hummed a jaunty tune as she closed the door to her art studio, kicking off her shoes.

“I’m back and I brought those madeleines you like!” She called brightly as she made her way to the kitchenette.

“Coming!” Damian gingerly walked in and immediately began to fiddle one-handed with the box.

“I’m going to have mine with black tea, what do you want?” she asked, pulling out the tea boxes. 

He grimaced. “You’re disgusting, you clearly have no taste. Get me my usual.”

She pinned him with a hard stare. He sighed.

“If you could make me some lavender tea, I would appreciate it, thank you,” he said politely..

“You would also appreciate me kissing the daylights out of you,” she said, putting the kettle on the stove.

“...what?”

“Hmm?” she turned from the sink, seeing Damian looking at her with shock.

“What did you just say?”

Marinette placed two mugs down on the table, striding towards him. She plucked the box of madeleines out of his hands and set it back on the table.

“I said,” she stared. “You want to make out with me.”

Damian blinked owlishly at her, then scoffed. “Great, you’re an actual pervert, like I suspected. And here I was hoping that it was a spontaneous happenstance.”

“Aw, you know it’s just that I like you. “ She caressed his jaw, pulling a blush to his skin. 

“You’re a human being, not an animal,” he put his hands around her waist. “Last I checked, evolution ensured that we don’t have an estrus period.”

Marinette wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling close. “Fair enough,”

“But do you really want me to stop?”

Damian tilted his head down. “The answer should be obvious, _Marinette_.”

They gravitate to one another, an irresistible pull. Lips a breath away from contact, she stops.

“Well, in that case, it’s a real shame,” she whispered before abruptly pulling away with a gusty sigh.

“Since you never said how you feel about me, I won’t pressure you. I’m a human being after all.”

Damian stands arms outstretched while she walks back toward the stove as the kettle begins to whistle.

She pours him his mug and hands it to him, along with the bakery box. “Here you go!”

She cheekily grins at him before going to make her own tea. She vaguely hears him grumble and retreat to the parlor, no doubt to sulkily have his afternoon tea.

_He’s so much fun to tease_ , she thinks, before gasping.

“Hey, all those madeleines aren’t just for you, save me some!” Silence.

“Damian!”

* * *

Blooper 3:

**The second night of Damian’s freeloading…**

Damian sat completely still as Ladybug checked his head for any lumps and fractures, a logical idea, but a terrible one in hindsight. 

Why? Because it required her to run her bare, naked hands through his hair, light and fleeting touches moving all around his head.

He knew that it was merely a necessary medical procedure, but he still couldn’t help rolling his head away. It was nothing but him being stupid and childish. Yet no matter how many times he told himself this, no matter how many times he could see Ladybug quickly reigning in her frustration, he rolled out of her reach with grit teeth.

Ladybug sighed, exasperated. “Damian, what is your problem? I’m trying to check you for head trauma.”

He stubbornly glanced away.

“Oh come on, stop being such a brat,” he bristled at that. “And look over here, please.”

He remained unmoving.

“Oh for--” An exasperated sigh. Small, thin hands grasping his shoulders. He grunts and shakes them off.

“Stop being so whiny, and _look at me_ \--!” He’s grabbed again and what happens next is something that will make him want to wither away in embarrassment until the day he dies and some years after that.

Marinette pulls him to look at her and he abruptly spins around, tilts his head and--

“ _Argh!_ Merde! _Merde_ , que se passe-t’il!” Marinette grabs her jaw as she cringes away from him, pained cries warbling from between her fingers.

He cursed. “Shit, I didn’t mean to!”

“Marinette wasn’t having it. “A simple ‘stop it’ or ‘cut it out’ would have worked just fine! Ah…”

“Are you trying to say I should have spoken up or something?!”

“Um, yes? I’ve been telling you this entire time to let me know if something's wrong, but you keep your mouth shut as though you’ve suddenly forgotten how to speak! Oh, except when you’re insulting me. Can’t forget about that, now can we? Tell me, does your selective mutism only break whenever you feel like being an asshole?”

“Oh, well excuse me, I’ve been saying that I’ve been fine only to be met with skepticism--”

“And rightfully so, because for the past several hours--”

“--so far be it from me that I can actually--”

“--been constantly out of it--”

“--to the point that I can see that my opinion isn’t--”

“--like you’re Insisting that you’re Superman or something!”

“You take that back!”

Marinette fiercely raised both hands and gave him the finger.

“What even is your problem,” he snarled. “Stop smothering me!”

“Smothering?” She scoffed. “You are literally still injured from being _exploded_. Forgive me for being a little more hands-on. It’s clearly something else, otherwise, you wouldn’t be so obtuse about this.”

Damian spluttered. “Obtuse?! How dare you! You’re the only thing I have a problem with here!” A lie. He had a lot of issues, but she was the most present one at the time.

That’s right. This was borne from a crisis of proximity. Damian is, indeed, ~~precocious~~ a precious child.

“Problem? I’ve been helping you, tending your wounds nonstop for the past twenty-eight hours! I’m supposed to be getting drunk off my ass with the rest of Paris, because, and this is important, I’ve been busy catching a super terrorist who is being tried as an actual war criminal. I haven’t seen you for nearly a year and suddenly I’m the problem?!”

Marinette stood up and towered over him, glaring.

“Bullshit! What’s up with you for real, Damian? And I want the truth if I’m going to be taking care of you like this for the next few months.”

He gaped. “Months?!”

She crossed her arms. “Well?”

Damian gritted his teeth and felt the tell-tale blush spread up his neck and find its way all the way up to the tips of his ears.

“Every time, you grab me, no, damn near manhandle me and you expect me to not have a problem with you? Not to mention you don’t know how to keep your lips to yourself!” He huffed, but Marinette was unrepentant.

“Seriously? Is that all?”

“Is that all…? That’s all you have to say for yourself?!”

“I’ve kissed you once. _Once_! Is my grabbing you supposed to imply some sort of trend, buddy? No. I have had to grab you so you can sit still and get treatment, because, according to you, _no hospitals_. What do you take me for, a lecher?!”

“No, but would it kill you to tell me what you’re doing before you put your hands on me?!” He gestured towards his face.

“I can’t exactly see what’s going on if you hadn’t noticed,” he said fiercely.

“...yeah, that’s on me,” she sighed, losing tension. She sat next to him again, this time on his left side where he could still see her.

“Better?” He grunted, resigning himself since he didn’t really have an excuse to distance himself anymore. It was logical to just let her get it over with as soon as possible, but the humiliating shiver that would dance up his spine was too much an act to bear.

She went back to checking his head for injuries, with less fuss this time.

“...so,” she dragged the word out, her accent turning it into something completely different.

“Why did you bring up the kiss?”

“No comment.”

“I thought you would forget about it after such a long time, and it has to do with me so I was wondering if--”

He growled.

“Was that your first kiss by any chance?”

_“No. Comment.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing a five-chapter Halloween special and it's going great! It currently has around about
> 
> Zero Words
> 
> ...
> 
> So everything's going great!

**Author's Note:**

> ok, you've read it now. Validate me and leave or validate me and leave. Thanks for reading.


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